I saw a lot of doctors while pregnant. My perinatologist saw me every two weeks and each time my insurance company got billed for three patient visits—Baby A, Baby B, and Baby C. Though he loved to tease that my bikini days were over, that perinatologist could also get deadly serious. After peppering him with anxious questions one week, his response was this: humans aren’t meant to carry a litter. I got the message. If all four of us survived the pregnancy, that’s when the hard times would really begin. If he meant to scare me, it worked. Telling others my news didn’t help settle my nerves either.
“I cannot imagine,” many a gaping expression mouthed, “going from zero to three all at once.” “Better you than me,” they half-joked.
And yet, I’ve always loved a challenge, so I dove into trying to “fix things” with spreadsheets and process designs to prepare for my triplets’ healthy homecoming. It was exhausting, but they thrived. When people asked, “How are you doing this?” I replied honestly that I had no answer and nothing to compare to. This was my motherhood experience—the cards I’d been dealt. Nothing left to do but play them out the best I could. With each new stage, my husband and I made lots of mistakes with no option for do-overs.
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Every roller coaster ride has a beginning and an end—it starts out with scary anticipation of the unknown and ends with regret once it’s all over. My ride was no exception. Eighteen years flew by. As we approached the time when they would all leave for college in the same week, I started to notice a pattern I had not seen since they were born.
The gaping mouths were back whenever family and friends realized the rare, dramatic nature of our impending empty nest.
“I cannot imagine,” those sympathetic eyes all said, “going from three to nothing all at once. Going through it one at a time nearly broke me.”
How was I going to “fix” this? Who could offer me advice on my next stage? I kicked my “efficient” self for bragging all along that when my triplets went to college, I would still be young enough to create a whole different life just for me. Now, I had to figure out what Meredith 2.0 really meant! What were my passions and values? I’d claimed to have no time to answer those questions for years. Too much to do.
I survived “zero to three,” and “three to zero” had arrived despite my best efforts to slow down the clock. My life was no longer noisy. My house stayed much quieter and (thankfully) cleaner. Being a mother to triplets was challenging, but also offered purpose and meaning. It was time to find a new flow or balance between challenge and expertise.
As an avid reader of historical fiction, I thought, I could write a book! Followed by, Wait, could I write a book? I was a good business writer, but did that translate into fiction? To find the best path, I cold-called two local authors and invited them for coffee. Both directed me to apply for the year-long Author’s Lab at Charlotte Center for Literary Arts. I thought, Perfect, I love school!
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I approached fiction writing like raising triplets, taking it one step at a time, and staying focused on the task at hand to avoid getting overwhelmed. My “flow” was back and with it a new purpose: to prove to myself and show my family that it is never too late to reinvent yourself, or do hard things. In fact, I had so much to learn, that my writing coach suggested I make it a little easier on myself by writing what I know. As a result, my women’s empowerment story is based in Charlotte and the protagonist has twins.
Four years later, my book Poster Girls was published in January of 2022. My triplets will graduate from college this May. New jobs in far-off cities await. Things are about to change for our family—again—but by now, that’s how we roll. I’m starting to research my next book and finding my next path forward.