Becoming a new parent is an exciting and sometimes overwhelming journey. With so many new responsibilities, it's essential to establish healthy boundaries to ensure both your baby’s well-being and your peace of mind. Family and friends are usually eager to help, but it’s important to set clear expectations early on to protect your child's health and safety.
When we were new parents, these boundaries seemed pretty unfamiliar to our parents and older family members - it really was not “a thing” that they did - so, working with our partners at Atrium Health Levine Children’s, we’ve identified some of the key boundaries we found helpful to keeping our kids safe and healthy and some tips for navigating those (at-times, challenging) conversations.
The boundaries below are (obviously) your choices to make - or not - and your Atrium Health Levine Children’s pediatrician is there to help guide you if and when you need them.
Prioritize Your Baby's Health
From the moment your baby is born, their health becomes your top priority. When it comes to visitors, it's perfectly acceptable to set specific guidelines to reduce potential health risks. For example, consider implementing a waiting period before allowing visitors—whether it's a few days or a few weeks—giving your family time to settle in and minimizing your baby’s exposure to germs.
Additionally, it's recommended that anyone who plans to be in close contact with your newborn, such as grandparents or other caregivers, receive the whooping cough (pertussis) vaccine. This extra precaution helps protect your baby from preventable diseases. Atrium Health Levine Children’s encourages parents to communicate this requirement in a positive way, emphasizing that these steps are in place to safeguard your newborn’s health.
You may also want to consider a “no kissing” rule, which may receive push-back. Sometimes adults can carry HSV-1, the cold-sore virus, and not even know they have an active inflammation. Babies are very susceptible to all sorts of unknown viruses and this can be potentially life-threatening. At the very least, it is worth a conversation - and if kissing is allowed, perhaps suggest feet and or on top of baby’s head instead of their face.
Establish Guidelines for Sick Visitors
Another important boundary to think about is setting rules for visitors who may be feeling under the weather. Newborns have delicate immune systems, and exposure to illness can have serious consequences. Politely but firmly ask friends and family to reschedule visits if they’re sick or if they've recently been exposed to someone who is ill. Our friends at Atrium Health Levine Children’s recommend making this a standing rule, especially during flu season, to protect your baby. In some cases, it may also be worth considering having visitors wear a mask when holding or spending time near your newborn, particularly if they’ve recently been around others who are unwell.
It's also a good idea to keep hand sanitizer easily accessible and request that all visitors wash their hands before holding or touching your baby
Set Social Media Boundaries
In today's digital age, it's natural to want to share your baby’s milestones with family and friends online. However, there are safety concerns that come with social media sharing. For example, avoid posting pictures that reveal identifying details like your child’s school name or day care, visible on uniforms or backpacks, or any location-specific clues in the background of photos. You might also consider creating a private group for sharing these images instead of publicly.
Discuss your social media preferences with loved ones ahead of time. You might kindly ask them to refrain from posting photos of your baby without permission or to avoid tagging your location in real-time. This is a simple way to keep your baby’s safety a priority and ensure everyone is on the same page.
Communicating Your Preferences
One of the hardest parts of setting boundaries is having those initial conversations with family and friends. The key is to approach the topic with kindness and clarity. Most people will understand that your baby's health and safety come first, even if they initially feel disappointed. Here are a few ways to approach these conversations:
● Be direct but gentle: For example, "We’re asking everyone who visits to be up-to-date on their vaccines to help keep the baby safe."
● Offer alternatives: If someone can’t visit right away, suggest a video call or let them know you’ll send regular updates and photos to keep them involved.
● Reiterate your reasons: Emphasize that these boundaries are about ensuring a safe and healthy environment for your baby.
Dealing with Pushback
It’s common for loved ones to push back or struggle with your boundaries, especially if they feel left out. In these situations, it's important to remain firm but compassionate. Try to listen to their concerns and acknowledge their feelings while also reaffirming your decisions. For example, you might say, “I know you're excited to see the baby, and we’re just as excited to introduce you. We’re asking for a little patience so we can keep everyone healthy.”
By setting and sticking to your boundaries, you're not only protecting your baby, but also laying the groundwork for healthy communication and respect moving forward.
Stay Informed and Supported
Remember, a network of experts supports your child's health. Atrium Health Levine Children’s is here to guide any health concerns, from vaccinations to newborn care. Don’t hesitate to lean on your healthcare team for advice or reassurance as you navigate these early months of parenthood.
Establishing healthy boundaries with family and friends is an important part of creating a safe and supportive environment for your baby. By addressing potential health concerns with kindness and clarity, you can ensure that both your loved ones and your little one are well cared for during this exciting chapter of life.
To learn more about pediatric care at Levine Children’s or schedule an appointment, visit them online.
